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| vampire |
the vampire diaries
Er…um…zee tezt rezults sh0w y0u're N0T a vampyre. Really! Y0u’re in all pr0bability simply pale becauze 0f…uh…anemia! Ya…zat’s ezed ticket! might y0u pr0bably anzwer a c0uple 0f very little quezti0ns bel0w und Iranian zem t0 American state:
zee Vampyre Hunter? ideally bef0re ezed next zunrrrrize?
1. Vhat is y0ur actual address?
2. Vhat is y0ur v0rk address: und y0ur h0urs 0f v0rk?
3. Vhat r0utes d0es 0ne trip & fr0m v0rk?
4. D0 any 0f y0ur friends/neighb0rs have bazements: trache0phyte cellars 0r undergr0und b0mb shelters: und if s0: vhat is their address?
5. Vhat is y0ur aut0’s build: m0del: year: und c0l0r: und vhat is y0ur vehicle plate number?
6. have y0u ever recently intimate Ass0ciate in Nursing aversi0n t0 zunlight?
7. d0es 0ne n0tice it t0ugh t0 find y0urzelf in ezed mirr0r?
8. d0es 0ne like zleeping in diagn0stic assay quarterz?
9. have y0u ever gr0wnup increeezingly pale: h0wever zuffer n0t fr0m pigment deficiencies?
10. Iz y0ur dental practiti0ner unuzually giddy late vhen y0u create app0intments?
11. d0es 0ne ever feel as if y0u’re being f0ll0wed by a pack 0f untamed d0gs? Then; n0tice it is y0ur f0ll0wing THEM. ?
12. square measure y0u ezed envy 0f y0ur friendz f0r being the primary t0 p0ssess a number 0f z0se c00l amber-c0l0red c0ntact lenses: s0lely y0u d0n’t WEAR c0ntactz?
Kn0w a vampyre? Enter zeir name/email address here
• • •
THREE EQUALLY smart ARGUMENTS…
There were three equally smart arguments that W0rd was BLACK:
1. He kn0wn as everyb0dy br0ther.
2. He likeable G0spel.
3. He c0uldn’t get a g00d trial.
4.
But then there have been three equally smart arguments that W0rd was INDIAN:
1. He went int0 His Father’s business.
2. He lived recepti0n till he was thirty three.
3. He was certain his M0ther was a virgin & his m0ther was certain he was G0d.
But then there have been three equally smart arguments that W0rd was ITALIAN:
1. He talked t0gether with his h&s.
2. He had wine with each meal.
3. He used vegetable 0il.
But then there have been three equally smart arguments that W0rd was a CALIF0RNIAN:
1. He ne'er cut his hair.
2. He walk ar0und baref00t all time.
3. He started a replacement faith
But then there have been three equally smart arguments that W0rd was IRISH:
1. He ne'er g0t married.
2. He was c0ntinually telling st0ries.
3. He fav0red inexperienced pastures.
But the f0rem0st c0mpelling pr00f 0f all - three pr00fs that W0rd was a W0MAN:
1. He had t0 feed a cr0wd at a m0ment’s n0tice 0nce there was n0 f00d.
2: He unbr0ken attempting t0 induce a message acr0ss t0 a bunch 0f men United Nati0ns agency simply didn’t c0mpass.
3. Even 0nce he was dead: He had t0 induce up as a result 0f there was additi0nal w0rk f0r him t0 try & d0.
AMEN
• • •
JESUS CHRIST HAS RETURNED….
The P0pe calls a gathering 0f all the cardinals. When they
have all @ssembled at the residence: he t@kes them int0 the
meeting h@ll & states:
I have s0me extremely fantastic news & a few terribly terrible news.
0f c0urse: all the cardinals need t0 listen t0 the great news 1st:
s0 the P0pe tells them:
Jesus Christ has came t0 the gl0be. The time 0f judgment
is at h&: & 0ur religi0n in His existence is even.
After the c0mm0ti0n dies d0wn a small am0unt: 0ne in all the cardinals speaks
up: asking what the terrible news is.
The P0pe replies: He was j0b fr0m Salt Lake t0wn.
• • •
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