QUICKIES….
Why didn0t Superm@n save arist0crat Di the night she died?
- as a result 0f he’s during a wheelchair!
- A CARD y0u may ne'er SEE IN HALLMARK
- :H0w might 2 folks as l0vely as you have g0t such an unpleasant baby. ??
- Q: wherever d0 they place the images 0f lost youngsters 0n milk cartons
in Ethiopia?
- A: 0n the UPC Universal Product Code within the l0wer left-hand c0rner.
- :There is 0ne issue a L0t of exasperating than a spousal equivalent United Nati0ns agency will cook and W0n’t, and that’s a spousal equivalent United Nations agency can’t c00k and can.:
- I w0nt to add a fireplace hydrant manufacturing plant. Y0u couldn’t
park anyplace cl0se t0 the place.
I g0t a poker hand and 4 f0lks died.
- Last week, I visited a article of furniture st0re t0 appear f0r
a decaf table. They c0uldn’t facilitate ME.
- 0nce I was a child, we tend to had a quicksand c0nfine the grounds.
I was ass0ciate degree S0lely child… eventually.
S0 I had to shop for them 0nce more.
- I actually have a switch in my flat that d0esn’t d0 something.
Every 0nce during a whereas I flip it 0n and off. 0ne day
I g0t a decision from a lady in France United Nati0ns agency same, -Cut it
0ut!-
- I replaced the headlights 0n my aut0m0tive with scientific instrument lights.
- I wr0te a song, h0wever I can’t scan music. Every time
I hear a replacement song 0n the radi0, I think, -Hey, maybe
I wr0te that.-
- I g0t my driver’s license pic taken 0ut of focus
0n purpose. currently 0nce I get force 0ver the cop appearance
at it (m0ving it nearer & farther, attempting t0 examine it
clearly)… and says, -Here, y0u can g0- I visited
a trading p0st however they wouldn’t let ME purchase s0mething
specific.
- My neighb0r contains a circular r0ad. He can’t get
0ut.
- I b0ught some fine-grained water, h0wever I didn’t understand what
t0 add.
- I place instant l0w during a micr0wave and virtually went
back in time.
- I actually have ass0ciate degree electronic device in my aut0m0tive. It says, -
I’m h0me currently, h0wever leave a message and I’ll decision 0nce
I’m 0ut.-
- I b0ught a house on a unidirectional inactive r0ad. I don’t
kn0w how I g0t there.
- I visited a eating place that serves -breakfast at any
time.- theref0re I ordered French toast through0ut the Renaissance.
- an addict of mine is int0 V00d00 stylostixis. Y0u
d0n’t need to go. You’ll simply be walking down the R0ad
and… 00ohh, that’s abundant
better.
- I Xer0xed a mirror. currently I actually have an additi0nal Xerox.
- Last week I f0rgot a way to ride a bicycle.
- If y0u’re not a part of the answer, you’re a part 0f
the precipitate.
- Y0u can’t have everything… wherever would y0u set it?
- at 0nce I’m having state 0f mind and reminder at a similar
time. i feel I’ve f0rgotten this bef0re.
I
said, -Hey, the sign says y0u’re open twenty four h0urs.- He
said, -Yes, h0wever not during a r0w.-
- i really like t0 travel looking. i really like to freak 0ut salespeople.
They {ask ME|inquire fr0m me|request from me|s0licit from me|question me} if they will facilitate me, and I say, -Have y0u
g0t something I’d like?- Then they request fr0m me what size I
need, and I say, -Extra medium.-
- whereas i used t0 be g0ne, s0mebody scarf everything in my flat
and replaced it with an explicit duplicate. 0nce I t0ld
my friend, he said, -D0 i do know y0u?-
- I put in a fanlight in my flat. The pe0ple
wh0 live on top of ME square measure furi0us.
- 0n the ceilings in my house, I actually have paintings 0f the
r0oms on top of therefore I ne'er need t0 go upstairs.
- i used t0 be going seventy miles associate degree h0ur and got st0pped by a
c0p United Nations agency same, -D0 you recognize the regulation is fifty five miles
per h0ur?- -Yes, 0fficer, however I wasn’t reaching t0 be
0ut that long.-
- just 0ne occasion a cop force ME 0ver for running a st0p sign.
He said, -Didn’t you see the st0p sign?- I same, -Yeah,
but I d0n’t believe everything I scan.-
- The decide asked, -What d0es 0ne plead?- I same, -Insanity,
y0ur honor. United Nations agency within their right mind w0uld park in the
passing lane?-
- Yesterday I p0se my automotive during a tow-away z0ne. When
I came back the wh0le space was missing.
- F0r a moment I didn’t have a car… I had a helic0pter…
n0 place to park it, therefore I simply tied it t0 a lamp p0st
and left it running. [Sl0w L00k upward.]
- i used t0 be attempting to daydream, however my mind unbr0ken wandering.
- 0nce I woke this M0rning my girlfriend asked ME,
-Did you sleep good?- I same, -N0, I created S0me mistakes.-
- I g0t up one morning and couldn’t notice my s0cks, so
I referred t0 as info. She said, -Hell0, info.-
I said, -I can’t N0tice my S0cks.- She said, -They’re
behind the couch.-
- I b0ught a self learning record to find 0ut Spanish.
I turned it 0n and visited sleep; the record g0t stuck.
The next day I might s0lely stutter in Spanish.
- i used t0 be born by Caesarian section… h0wever not therefore you’d
n0tice. It’s simply that 0nce I leave a house, I g0 out
thr0ugh the window.
- Well, y0u recognize once you’re rocking during a R0cker,
and y0u go to date that y0u simply virtually collapse backwards,
but at the last instant y0u catch yourself? That’s
h0w I feel all the time.
- i used t0 be reading the lexicon. i assumed it had been a
p0em concerning everything.
Q: What d0 John F. Kennedy Jr. and a sphenisciform seabird have in comm0n?
A: They’re each cute to appear at, h0wever neither 0ne will fly price a damn.
A CARD y0u may ne'er SEE IN HALLMARK
As y0u @ge, Mumm, i feel 0f @ll the gifts y0u’ve given ME.
Like the w0uld like f0r therapy…”
What d0es 0ne d0 after y0u see ass0ciate degree vulnerable ass0ciate degreeimal C0nsumpti0n an
endangered plant?”
- George Carlin
• • •
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